Sunny Hodge reviews a kind of ‘best of’ Neal D. Hulkower, whose works span a vast range of vinous topics, incorporating his expert application of the world of mathematics to that of the vine.
For those of you not yet familiar with Hulkower’s writing, he has been a prudent book reviewer, essayist, wine journalist and efficacious tasting-note-taker since his fixation with wine first took grip in 1969. Grape Explications is a compilation of Hulkower’s writing works across an assortment of wine topics, which include his experiences with the American Association of Wine Economists, book reviews, wine personalities and his time with ‘Slow Wine’.
So, to review the reviewer. Hulkower is an applied mathematician, which certainly comes through in his writing. To put this into context, Hulkower’s dissertation in Applied Mathematics was on an ancient problem called the ‘three-body problem’ (now turned into a popular Netflix series) – an unsolvable Newtonian proposal whereby one describes solutions applying high level mathematical analyses, setting one up to be a rocket scientist – Hulkower even has an asteroid named after him! Likewise, wine has always been sensed with an air of awe and mystery, and whereas most wine writers take the path of artistry and prose to articulate this abstract, Hulkower takes an unthinkably refreshing approach. His writing is methodical and analytical yet remarkably humorous. I say this with genuine surprise as it’s not what you’d expect when applying maths to wine. Moreover, he’s an obvious fan of alliteration and puns, a winning addition when applying levity to two heavy hitting subjects.
The book is sprinkled with an assortment of thought-provoking insights on wine and backed up by fact over opinion. The piece Borda is Better is a testament to his wine writing style and ability to merge statistical analysis with wine judging, whilst making it interesting. The piece first appeared in the Journal of Wine Research in 2009 and sings the praises of the Borda count as a method for wine ranking in wine competitions. Having judged extensively myself, this piqued particular interest.
Hulkower rightly critiques competition judging systems which rely on an average of 0-100 or 0-20 panel scores as they present a clear bias towards judges who are inclined to mark a broader scatter of scores. However, the Borda method requires judges to line up their wines from best to worst and apply point systems to them, i.e. 2 points to the winner, 1 to second place, and 0 to third. The scores for each wine are then summated per panel to determine the winning outcome. A fair approach laid out systematically and entertainingly in true Hulkower style.
In a 2019 interview, Hulkower comments that writing is not too dissimilar to maths. One has to state the proposition, work out the detail underneath, then draw conclusions, which if done well should reinstate your initial premise.
Further on in this piece, Hulkower re-examines the notorious Judgement of Paris Tasting in 1976, in which a Californian Cabernet (Stags Leap Wine Cellars Cabernet Sauvignon 1973) took first place and bested several of France’s best Bordeaux. If using the fairer Borda method – the judges results would have revealed a very different outcome. If implemented, Château Haut-Brion 1970 would have been declared the winner and Stags Leap second place. How this would have changed the Californian wine industry in the present day is a thought to take away from this mathematical revelation.
The book rounds to an end with an article ‘In Defence of Describing Wines as Masculine, Feminine, and Sexy’, which was politely declined publication on wine-searcher.com for obvious reasons, yet is a must read for any budding wine writer. Hulkower whimsically covers both sides of the argument with statistics and the nuances of modern language, teetering on the edge of current social norms, and refreshingly so. He’s a writer who’s not afraid to ask the question, nor state the facts behind his reasoning. Brave and provocative writers are what readers need to truly engage in a subject as complex and broad as wine.
Grape Explications is a witty and alternative read that spans an array of wine topics. It nourishes the inner wine geek within and is an amusing display of Hulkower’s ability to apply critical thinking to wine, even if the results are not what we’d first expect.
You can find out more about, and where to buy, Neal’s book online here.